The Sopranos: The 10 Funniest Quotes From The Show

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Tension always lingers in the New Jersey air soprano Because of betrayal and constant murder. Fortunately, the show’s comedic moments tend to weaken all of this. Thanks to the good writing, there’s no shortage of humor in the critically acclaimed show. Even the gloomy characters made fans laugh on one or two occasions.

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The funny quotes on the show are memorable and unique as they are mostly delivered in an impromptu manner. Just as the audience hopes for more violence, the gangsters and their comrades are surprised by making clever jokes. Some of the quotes aren’t meant to be jokes, but they still make you laugh.

When Polly relayed Tony’s warning from Valerie to Christopher

“The guy was an interior designer. He killed 16 CZ.”

Believing they killed Valerie, Pauley and Christopher lead to Pine Barnes to bury his body, only to have him overpower them and escape. While they search for him, Tony calls Pauli to warn him that Valery was previously in the Russian Interior Ministry and that he had killed 16 Chechen rebels. Since the reference is bad, Polly misquotes it before it misquotes it.

Paulie’s quote is golden because he believes so strongly in his words and yet they don’t make sense. It’s hard to imagine what would make a decorator kill 16 CZ. Why exactly? Christopher even wonders why Valerie’s house was not organized if it was indeed an interior designer.

When Phil explains how Tony offended him

“Let me tell you three things.”

Phil Liotardo declares war on Tony's crew

Among the most dangerous enemies of Tony Soprano, Phil Liotardo, the head of the Lubertazzi crime family, proves to be the most feared. At first, his soldiers on the streets don’t see his war against New Jersey as gratuitous, so he sits down on them to tell them of Tony’s three great sins.

The beauty of Phil’s statement is that it is grammatically incorrect. The word “three” shouldn’t be in the sentence, but it does make you laugh. Some of the funniest notes come when the character tries really hard to be totally serious, which is the case here with Phil. Most interesting is that the three grievances multiply into 10 grievances as he continues to talk.

When Aarti threatens to give Penny notice to his wife

“Do you like Martina? It’s like a Martini, but it’s from Albania.”

Arte Bucco in The Sopranos

Artie begins to feud with Benny Fazio when the two men look at the host, Martina. When Penny appears at the restaurant with his wife, Artie mocks him by introducing him to a martina, claiming it is a martini from Albania. In fact, there is no such drink.

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Watching Benny shake as Artie drops the word “Martina” is funny. The funny thing is that Jen, Penny’s wife, actually thinks there is a drink called a Martina. Fortunately for Penny, Aarti didn’t explain his words any further. It’s simply his way of letting Penny know that he could ruin his marriage if he wanted to.

When Ralph Polly makes fun of his lesser story

“Why not? Last year you thought a UFO was over East Rutherford.”

Tony mediates the feud between Ralph and Polly in The Sopranos

In one of the biggest conflicts in sopranoAnd Paulie and Ralph argue over the $100,000 the latter earned from a heist. Pauley thinks he’s worth half because he gave the information, but Tony judges he should get $12,000. Paulie yells, claiming he can’t believe the verdict, but Ralph argues that he should believe him because he’s previously bought strange things, like aliens.

One of the things Ralph enjoys doing the most is indirectly calling Polly an idiot. It is true that the capu is ruthless but unwise. That he not only allowed Ralph to carry out the theft himself, but also trusted him to be his supervisor, is evidence of his lack of intelligence. However, Ralph risks Polly’s wrath by constantly throwing verbal punches at Capo.

As Bobby remembers hunting with his dad

“One time we saw a sign that said ‘Leave the bear,’ so we went home.”

Bobby and Tony are looking for Polly and Christopher in Pine Barnes

Bobby and Tony go to rescue Polly and Christopher when they are stranded in Pine Barnes. While there, Bobby recalls his hunting days with his father through a bear prank.

Bobby’s joke is worthy of applause as it indicates that he and his father enjoyed hunting bears rather than animals such as deer. The “Bear Left” sign means to stay on the left side of the track or road, but Bobby and his father considered the bear to have left the woods, and so did they.

When Junior rejects Mickey’s proposal to hit Christopher

“Take it simple. We’re not making west here.”

At the height of Junior’s war with Tony, Mickey Palmes suggests hitting Christopher in order to send a message. Junior is not impressed, thinking that Mickey is trying to act tough.

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In the chaotic underworld of New York and New Jersey, most gangsters feel the need to prove to their bosses that they are strong. However, most bosses see through this behavior and consider it lame. Tony even points out the need to act assertively like “Cowboy-itis.” In Mickey’s case, Junior feels like he’s trying to be a little happiest like a cowboy or an outlaw in the desert.

When Richie makes fun of Christopher

“This nose is like a normal umbrella.”

Ritchie makes fun of Christopher's nose in The Sopranos

As Richie gets to know young gangsters, Sean and Matt, he cracks jokes about Christopher. He claims that Christopher is the only man who can smoke in the rain without using his hands because his nose is like an umbrella.

The serious Ritchie isn’t always known by others, but he outdid himself with this rendition. Keeping up with his strong image, he cracked the joke without looking at Sean and Matt. Unfortunately, the duo misinterprets the words as extreme hostility and so they try to kill Christopher in order to impress Ritchie.

When the big cat is carried away while on an FBI mission

“Searchlight Diner. 5:15 AM. Matter still hasn’t left the place. Sun is coming up.”

Big Pussy is going after Christopher for the FBI in The Sopranos

Big Pussy is undoubtedly one of the best FBI detectives in soprano, but gets carried away when his therapist, Skip Larry, assigns him a mission for Christopher. He begins to communicate in the same abbreviated manner that special agents do, much to the amusement of the FBI officers who listen.

The moment is comedy because the big pussy is delusional. He actually believes he’s part of the FBI now. The gangster seems to have forgotten that he is just a renegade criminal for the business which displeases both the law enforcement officers and those in the mafia. The situation becomes even more exciting when he cuts himself while chasing Christopher.

When Silvio imitated Michael Corleone from The Godfather

“Just when I thought I was out did they put me back inside.”

Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me out again

After he returns from hiding, Big Pussy begs Silvio to make an impression on Michael Corleone and he does a pretty good job. Michael says the words in the third installment of The Godfather trilogy as he laments how he was dragged back into the mob when he wanted to pursue legal business ventures.

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Silvio not only repeats Michael Corleone’s words, but accompanies them with the correct facial and body expressions. His impression was so great that even the toughest gangsters find themselves laughing. Humor aside, the quote is great because it connects two great mob productions.

When Tony complains about his misfortune

“I’m like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns into Sh**.”

Dr. Melfi and Tony in a soprano therapy session

During a therapy session with Dr. Melfi, Tony complained that everything he did was going wrong. He then compares himself to King Midas, the ancient mythical ruler who turned everything into gold with his touch.

The popular culture reference is given just enough tweaks to fit Tony’s status. It’s not entirely true that everything he does ends up badly. Throughout the series, he has proven to be a competent mob boss. However, watching Tony feel sorry for himself elicits more laughter than pity.

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